The Voice

Being restless is the works of demons. It's awful. It's something that gnaws at your brain, like a maggot inside an apple. I've only been finished for not even a single day and I worry about the coming days of which contain this very feeling.
Rewind back just two days and here I'd be, with the same feeling of restlessness, however I had something to do, something to actually put true effort and passion into. My restlessness was converted into work which meant something, something which was beneficial.

It was all because of the little voice. The little voice was there to straighten up my priorities and put me in place. When I knew I should be working instead of doing whatever I was doing at that particular time, it'd gnaw at me until I decided to hit the books. It is the very 'maggot' which eats away at me now, however it's not the same voice. I have no true priorities, and the smaller ones I do have are vast in numbers; there's no way the voice can specifically choose one if there's so many, and they're not of much importance anyway. You could say that the voice has 'played it's part', and has withdrawn into the depths of my mind, where forgotten memories lay. Maybe when I assign something as important as my past work to my highest priority, this voice will return. So, maybe, it is the absence of this voice which causes my restlessness?

If there is nothing to truly prioritise, is my mind turning on itself because it has lost its voice?

When A Good Man Goes To War

He's had enough of the push and the shove

When there's no giving up when you've already given up hope

He has his head in his hands, laid on the floor as they stand

They surround and crowd, how intimidating

With a fist and a kick they can get their way

Outnumbered and each one don't know their place

And they've all probably had a few too many tonight

He's accustomed to the bullying

But he's flustered when they're finished with him

This isn't a game of hide and seek

They just want a fracas, to leave you in the street

A photo in your memory temporarily gives you potential revenge

But can he handle the aggro? Has he got a gut to spend?

And he can make a home-made molotov cocktail pretty decently

Let's hope now the fire in his eye'll set his skeletons free

He can play these games in his head - they can never put his demons to bed

But he can see the flat where they hang out, how well in real life can he play?

Oh way-e-ey mr.postman will I have to sign for this package today?

He's not accustomed to the bullying

They'll each have battle scars when he's finished with 'em

This isn't a game of hide and seek

He just wants to get his own back, to prove to himself he's not weak

And he watches it all burn
He listens to the agony

He knows right well what he's done

And he just smiles

Amnesia

Crush a white rose, can you get the red?

Wanting what you can't get, has it happened yet?

He wants the lie-in to waste his time in bed

Wide awake, frozen stare on the girl instead

She's the stranger of whom he hasn't met

But here she lies, open eyes, where did it all begin

Did he lose some sort of bet or has he lost his head?

A hurricane in his mind, stomach bloated with regret

There surely was a struggle, tumble and a bang, how could he forget

He had to shut her up, had to keep a straight set

So he puts an index and a middle on the side of her neck

Alcohol and crazy thoughts must've lead to the girl who's now dead

Going out with a mouth ready for the lies

But there's a difference between the girl you want, and the one you find

You hate the end of the night, but the start was fine

You do this sort of thing all the time because you're in your prime

But this time a young girl's life was on the line

Bleeding Media.

There's a smile on your face but your far from happy

And you've got a spring in your step but you're always falling down

You have the night on your mind but you dread each morning

Try to daydream the time away, your own conscious coma

Reflect upon the past

Of all which did not last

Can you see the faces of the disappointed people?

Each tried to help you dear

But your intentions were so clear

Spend another lonely night crying into a pillow

A razor blade becomes a chum

Everything's the same, except now you're only to blame

A flesh wound to each wrist, I call it bleeding media

The attention and the fame, I forget why it's a shame

To have no part or importance in this play

Give Me Away.

Give me one second to breathe

Give me one minute to believe

Give me a moment to think

My sanity is on its final brink

Give me a home and I'll burn it down

Give me a scream without sound

Give me the chance, and I'll kill

I'll stay put in my head as I lay still

I lay still, I lay still

I lay still, I lay still

Crying tears of agony from a lost soul

I can't help but feel so tired, but I must go

The fight within me loses faith, should I let go?

A life spent mourning over a choice in this black hole

Give me away

Give me one second to breathe

Give me one minute to believe

Give me a moment to think

I'm stuck in this moment like quick sand, and I sink

I lay still as I watch my life corroding

Time passes by without reason or meaning

I wake up while I'm still dreaming

These nightmares await me

Give me everything you have

Give me it all and don't look back

Give me the unity I need

I stand accountable for this greed

Crying tears of agony from a lost soul

I can't help but feel so tired, but I must go

The fight within me loses faith, should I let go?

A life spent mourning over a choice in this black hole

Give me away

Forsaken.

If there's a place inside my head

To just lie adrift

Unanchored within my thoughts

Consume the memories I once had

And leave myself lost and cold

Trapped inside my own illusion

An immortal isolation

To where reality is an elusive nightmare

Or the perfect dream?

No one can escape this unfathomable void

We can only despairingly attempt to...

Not together, but alone

In this selfish world, we only have ourselves

There's a time and a place for love

But there's no love out here

Will we even glimpse the light at tunnels end?

Burn my ropes of tranquillity

So I can peacefully descend;

The pit of everlasting cries

From our lost and murdered children

The taste of oxygen did not reach their senses

A drowning intrinsic foetus

In the pool of an unloving womb

What have we come to be? A monstrosity

A living carcass of broken emotion

We will all live and die...

Not together, but alone

In this selfish world

We only have ourselves

There's a time and a place for love

But there's no love out here

Will we even glimpse the light

At tunnels end?

The Broken Lullaby.

I am feeling so pressured

I am feeling so caged-in

I don't even know what the truth means any more

I am running from you

I am looking forward

I'll try to forget what you did to me, it's a start

When the people and the places

That remind me of our faces

When all we could do was smile like nothing mattered

I'll look away, like it never was there,

Like it never mattered

You never did care

I'll erase all those moments we shared

Because it hurts...

Too much to bear

I can't even see, because I'm blinded by reality

I'm lost in transition, from my wants to my needs

My heart is down on its knees

What do I believe?

I am slipping away

My past is catching on to me

I forgot what love means, because of you

I fell into my own fissure, fell so hard for you

The climb continues

When will I stand, on solid ground

When the people and the places

That remind me of our faces

When all we could do was smile like nothing mattered

I'll look away, like it never was there,

Like it never mattered

You never did care

I'll erase all those moments we shared

Because it hurts...

Too much to bear

I can't even see, because I'm blinded by reality

I'm lost in transition, from my wants to my needs

My heart is down on its knees

What do I believe?

These moments, were the last

A thousand miles lost in your eyes

I have to find my way back

Alone

A Suicide To Die For

“Suicide is man’s way of telling God – ‘You can’t fire me; I quit.’” / “Never attempt to murder a man who is committing suicide”

Just take this pill

You'll feel like there's no cage imprisoning your soul

Feel it disperse through your heart

And pierce your arteries as it flows through

Spill your emotions inside out like blood,

Taken from the finest jug

Of the purest liquidized malevolence

The red mist dawns over your eyes

You have no control, it's time

Take my heart in marriage, and compress it into nothingness

With your bipolar fuelled ego

I am mortal no more, you leave me nothing to live for

This is a suicide to die for

You’re not fazed by this bruise among others

That inadequately dents your morality

It creeps upon the surface, of your broken nightmares

The undying parasite underneath your skin

It's everlasting feast on your mercy

My thoughts are dying

Now I feel much weaker

If fate is real, then this is mine

Take my heart in marriage, and compress it into nothingness

With your bipolar fuelled ego

I am mortal no more, you leave me nothing to live for

This is a suicide to die for

This is the last time I cry because of you

This is the last time I cry because of you

This is the last time I cry because of you

This is the last time I cry

The Night Is A Demon Calling.

Riddle me this, as I'm stuck on my chair

Why I'm alone but I can hear the voices, yeah

Dark, pitch black but I can see it's face

As I stare into space, a reflection stares back

I'm looking into the mirror

A small glitter in his eyes, but he doesn't look surprised

As he gives a devilish smile

Leave this house with a bottle o' whisky

No plan or direction and the time is 12.50

He might end up somewhere risky

But he isn't bothered 'cause he's already made up his mind

Have you got somewhere to stay son?

You look a tad gone and you seem lost

Get on that bus, and follow the night to where it takes us

You're half empty but that bottle's half full

Keep on drinking 'cause you might get enough balls

To say those words you've planned out

Like a script, it all falls into place

You've got a place to rest your head

Drinking whisky straight

In a public place

And you're under age

Can you see the light?

At the end of this night

There's no sense or sight

You'll end up alone

So pick up that phone

You knew it all along

Leave this house with a bottle o' whisky

No plan or direction and the time is 12.50

He might end up somewhere risky

But he isn't bothered 'cause he's already made up his mind

This Is A First Person View On A Self-Destructive Memory.

The empty streets seem a blur tonight

An intoxicated mind, a body in a slur, but it's alright

You took me in and you threw us out

Being friends is much more than doubt

I'm a stranger to this feeling

If seeing is believing,

Then why did I believe all that are now memories?

A cannibal emotion, once on our side

Turned against us, and ate us from the inside

I saw it crumble, and I watched it fall

You can have the pieces left over, you can have it all

It's our suicide

A multiple demise

The noose around our necks as we jump from the edge

There's no looking back, those moments are dead

The past will rot and the voices will fade

We'll leave behind our short escapade

The empty streets seem a blur tonight

An intoxicated mind, a body in a slur, but it's alright

You introduced me to the person I am today
From the second after you sent me away

This is a first person view on a self-destructive memory

It's our suicide

A multiple demise

The noose around our necks as we jump from the edge

There's no looking back, those moments are dead

The past will rot and the voices will fade

We'll leave behind our short escapade

They Just Want Your Body.

Fall, a blissful symphony

And you wished you could be

All the things that people see

On the outside, a perfect surface

Underneath those lies is a burned-out furnace

And they're too afraid to tell you, you're just a worthless...

Little girl, speeding through this world

Self-righteous and broken 

Dressed in sin, give us a twirl

I wish you could look through all their eyes

You might realise that they just want your body

Insecurity is what you want to play on

The compliments are what keep you going on

Deceive the boys, become their sexual fantasy pawn

It's all a game to make them fall in love with you

Seduce their innocence, before they make their debut

Shirt off, pants off, their skin is naked, and your soul is naked too

Why do you persist with this nonsense?

Is this how you live your life to the fullest?

I know you have your fans

With their hearts within the palm or your hand

They'll always believe your lies because they don't understand

That you are just a...

Little girl, speeding through this world

Self-righteous and broken 

Dressed in sin, give us a twirl

I wish you could look through all their eyes

You might realise that they just want your body

Little girl, speeding through this world

Self-righteous and broken 

Dressed in sin, give us a twirl

I wish you could look through all their eyes

You might realise that they just want your body

They just want your body

They just want your body

They just want your body

I'm sure you'll give them your body

Remember This.

I've upset you

Is there any way to fix that?

I've denied you

I wish I could somehow go back

I know you hate this

Because I hate it as well

Will you forgive me?

Before I forgive myself

And if there's a word that I said

It must be this word in my head

That keeps playing over and over

I made the mistake to show her

And if you ever feel forgotten

Just know you're in my head

And If you think I don't care

Remember I loved you instead

I've pushed you away

I didn't mean for you to cry

To make you feel unwanted

Was my greatest lie

I was wrong to make excuses

I was wrong to let go

Maybe that hole can be filled

I think you should know...

If you ever feel forgotten

Just know you're in my head

And If you think I don't care

Remember I loved you instead

I've upset you

Is there any way to fix that?

I've denied you

I wish I could go back