I want it all to end.

I want to drop out of college

I want to move out of my privacy forsaken flat

I want my girlfriend to stop being depressed

I want to fight

I want to make my family proud

I want to be happy

I want to achieve personal success

I want to be free

I want to live without worry

I want to run, far

I want to forget and leave everything behind, just to see what I'd do first

I want to get rid of my guilt

I want to not be able to 'feel'

I want to believe in something, even if it's just myself

I want to go back and correct mistakes, even if it changes who I am today

I want to change

I want to stop living this same cycle of life

I want to wake up and not have 10 thoughts on my mind

I want to fucking kill my budgies

I want to cut my hair

I want to do work, but I'm too lazy

I want to be lonely again

I want to be close to my cousin again

I want to body build again

I want my heart to man-up

I want my mum to stop fucking worrying about me all the time, and let me go

I want to stop being so angry

I want to be able to actually enjoy playing with my youngest siblings

I want to stop over-thinking about every damn thing

I want to drink until I pass out

I want to hug my girlfriend without worrying about her hair stinking of smoke

I want to stop lying to the people I love

I want to completely change my childhood

I want to stop being so paranoid

I want to think that one day everything will be fine

I want to go out at night with no motive

I want to smile and laugh without remembering there'll always be something wrong

I want to go back to a time when everything was simple and good

I want to believe that someday I can get what I truly want

I want too much

But, who really cares about what other people want?

A song stuck in my head right now, which is weird 'cause they're never this soft:

Come Around - Rhett Miller

My knuckle's never going to heal if I keep punching stuff, and this rash on my left arm wont disappear under pressure from glass. Great.

Elijah