Oh, hai thur.

I don't know what to say or how to start this really, but things are good again. Actually good again.

I've faced my demons, and given every truth I could.

I've stopped binge eating.

I've stopped binge drinking.

I've stopped being a sloth (although I am still pretty lazy - hey, it's just me).

I've gone back to the gym.

I've started exercising more frequently.

I've started eating more healthier foods.

I'm actually starting to study even though my exams are over, because it beats doing fuck all.

I'm actually beginning to enjoy being the person I am.

I'm laughing and actually meaning it.
I look at people, and the world, and realise how beautiful all of it is.

I have stuff to look forward to now, stuff that I'm genuinely concentrating on. Including being there for family and friends, and being there for myself. The other day I faced 'the bench'. I went for a walk and ended up there. The bench we used to sit on, and talk for hours. Long story short I just let my mind speak out loud, and I realised how I felt, and what I needed to do. I may have looked real crazy, but ultimately, it kind of helped. Long story short again, it turned out fine, for me anyway. Because I feel good again. I've let go of a burden I've needed to for a while now. 

Knowing I'm back exercising and eating somewhat right again, along with having a 'you should be studying' mind set, helped me understand that I'm not depressed any more. I'm not upset. I've been singing, not screaming. I've been forgiving so much more easier, and just point blank letting go of shit I don't need to hold on to, because doing that just makes me more depressed and upset.

This blog has helped me express myself pretty well, mostly the bad stuff but hey. It would be the bad stuff, because who wants to dump that on someone else? And with good stuff, you can't really 'dump' good feelings and motives on someone else, it's more of a vibe you give someone. I believe that if you're in a good mood, the people around you can be influenced by that, even without you saying anything.

However, with that considered, I think I only need this for any music stuff I want to put down from now on, but who knows. All I know is, right now, things are looking up, and I'm not going to let myself or anyone else bring that back down. See ya.

Elijah